Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
