my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the day after is always just damage control
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize