matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize