We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
