her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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