Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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