hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
whose parrot is this?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize