Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
