I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
