I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
