the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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