Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
