dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
