I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
