I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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