yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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