after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize