Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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