cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
and she was petting her beer can
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
