You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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