I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize