i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
