Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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