What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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