I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
