all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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