This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize