does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
