I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
