so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
