Midget sex pt 2 tonight
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
