Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
