So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
