That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
