NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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