even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
