508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
