Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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