6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
