I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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