She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
