He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
