i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
