My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize