Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
