If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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