C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
