How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
