So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
