she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
