It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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