nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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