No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
