marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
