My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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