Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He did a backflip because drugs
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