Umm I'm too high to move.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
