Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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