what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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