The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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