im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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