my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
