should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
