Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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