remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
