the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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