WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
