I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just invented taco cereal.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
