Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
