Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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