Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
