I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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